White walls that are lighted with florescence light. Sporadic beeps from behind the dividing curtain of the emergency room. The smell of alcohol. Dried tiers on the face of my son that is sleep now. His hands, punctuated several time in a futile effort of taking some blood for testing. The doctor comes back after incredibly long time. I've lost the track of time, six hours maybe has gone since we have arrived in this cold place. The doctor tells me that the blood test was fine and he is doing well. I curse myself for not watching him more closely. This is the 4th time that we visit emergency room in past two months. But I can't take control of everything. I can't shield him of the virus that made him miserable last week. He is so vulnerable and I feel so miserable not being able to protect him. I haven't slept well in a long time. Tonight, I am just an exhausted, desperate mother.